Sunday, May 12, 2013

Generational Mother's day

me and mom
Of course everyone is going to talk about their mom's on Mother's day.  I am on a similar wagon train.
 I was a rotten teenager and I am sure that I caused my mom many sleepless nights.  She was always there for me when I made the effort to reach out to her for help.   Now as an adult she is my go to when my days are great and the ones that are filled with mothering anxiety!
The gift of being a mother is such a wonderful thing.  I had no idea what to think when I became a mom myself.  We don't have a big family so little kids were not the norm in my life.  I held my little one and tried to do all the "mom" things and I felt like I was failing before I even stated!
Is there a natural instinct to be a mom?  Do we learn from our past generations on what to do and what not to do?  My ancestors came from across the ocean on a boat.  Some of them came alone, some of them came with husbands, some of them came with children.  How do you parent little ones on a boat across the ocean to a land that you know nothing about?  How do you calm your baby when you can't even see land or know when you will see it again.  There was disease, there were food shortages, so many things that I thankfully know nothing about as a mom.
When they arrived they had to find land.  In those times the women had to raise the children, tend to the husbands, keep the house and help out in the fields.  It was truly a group effort to being a family and making it work.
Wars happened and Mother's had to fend for themselves wondering if their husbands and sons would be coming home all while taking care of the farm, the businesses and the other children in the home. 
Progress started to happen and a whole new world of mothering came about.  Our mom's went outside the home to help support the family.  Good or bad, right or wrong that is the reality of the world at that time.
My generation seems to be split on the mom role.  Do you have a career?  Do you stay at home?  Do you do both?  I am fortunate enough to be a stay at home mom and work part time.  I never thought that would be the case for me.  Staying home was a daunting idea for me.  I don't like cooking, I really don't like cleaning but I do love my kids and I have found that we love to find adventures with each other. It is a rewarding career path for me.  As I sat up worrying about the fever that my little one had last night I have to reflect and remind myself that this is were I need and want to be. 
Through all the things I have learned from generation to generation I hope to pass along some great skills to my girls so that someday if they are lucky enough to have kids of their own they may not feel so overwhelmed!
On this mother's day I am so thankful for the knowledge and the loving care that I have gotten from all of the many women in my life.  Whether they are friends, or relatives I am fortunate enough to gain little tidbits from them on how to be a better mom.

She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.  She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue, she watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.  Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her; "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all"
Psalm 31:26-29

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